It feels like your ND teen is gaslighting you.
“What!!? I do NOT do that mom, you’re crazy!”
Does your teen love to tell you that you are wrong, with zero actual research.
Do they tell you , in no uncertain terms, that you couldn’t possibly know what you’re talking about.
Do they LOVE to tell you how you should do everything better?
Does this drive you crazy.
Does it trigger you?
Does it feel like gaslighting?
Do you KNOW this feeling doesn’t make sense, they don’t mean it like this, but it’s hard to know what to do?
Here’s a new perspective? And some tools to deal with this?
The fact that your teen is doing this is a GREAT!! opportunity for teaching, but not the way you think!
It is NOT an opportunity to become angry or defensive and to “teach” your ND teen how others will likely react. It is a time to teach insight and how to hone their newly acquired knowledge, bourgeoning social awareness, and enthusiastic but blunt self- advocacy skills.
But…HOW to do this?
Don’t react (personally/emotionally) to this. Your is child not an adult, they are not gaslighting you. They are trying out new skills - asserting themselves, advocating for themselves, expressing their understanding, highlighting new information they have learned, etc.... They are a child so they are doing all this with YOU since you (should be) emotionally safe.
Of course, they are missing the mark wildly, but this is all great progress when compared to what they were doing before. I mean do you want your child to just accept what people tell them without question when they are an adult? Or would you rather they know how to skillfully question information, question authority, question the status quo?
You can be there with support to help them to learn to do this effectively.
So, instead of REACTING you need to RESPOND…. with facts, calmness, patience, a long view, curiosity (this is the most important), support, acknowledgment, etc......
You can respond by saying something like “Ok, how do you want to ground truth your assertion?” or “OK, cite your source.”